I would like to take time to take a look at my actions during and after my support for the ICL-FI. This would include things I think were mistake on my part.
First of all I'll talk about when I was a supporter of the ICL. When I supporting the ICL, I was quite nasty to other leftists and like everyone else in that group I behaved like a total asshole. Fortunately, unlike some in that group I never physically assaulted anyone. But I made a prick of myself all the same. I remember when an individual in the group named Andrew (who was an Electrician at the time) manhandled a person an Under the Volcano event, I remained silent. I along with everyone else in that group didn't speak out against it. The same is true when this same person talked about smashing the skulls of members of other left groups. I and everyone else remained silent. I also remained silent when Andrew lashed out at other leftists. I also remained silent when Andrew sneared at the notion of Natives wanting their land back. I don't think Natives can get their land back until Capitalism is overthrown. that being said Andrew was extremely insentive to this deeply held desire of most First Nations people. Rather than call Andrew on this I actually defended him and the ICL. I also remained silent when Andrew talked about "Revolution in MY COUNTRY" a variant of Socialism in One Country.
Their were mistakes I made when it came to taking the ICL at their word. When I first read their article calling for "Marine out of Lebenon Now, Alive" in Lebanon in 1983 I was quite confused. This was in complete contradiction to their current stance on Iraq where they actually denounce leftists who actually hold the same view on Iraq. However, I kepted my doubts to myself and didn't speak up. Also, when I considered reading literature by the International Bolshevik Tendency (IBT) and the Internationalist Group (IG), the ICL put a tremedous amount of pressure on me not to read these groups literature. This confused me. The ICL had talked about reading opponents views. They said that other groups censor them and won't let their members read their papers because they are bankrupt and their politics don't add up. Yet here they were doing the same thing with the IBT and the IG. Despite these concerns I remained silent.
Now onto the mistakes I think I made after I left the ICL. First of all on one of my emails to them I ended my email in an exclamation point. Basically like I was screaming. This is an attitude I picked up from being with the ICL. They often scream hysterically, both in their paper and on the ground.
Also, I had at one point asked people in the ICL "are you holocaust deniers" this remake was inexcusable and I retracted it within days. The ICL had tried to brainwash me into to thinking that people with disabilities were better off dead. I have disabilities along with virtually all my family and friends. In essence the ICL had tried to brainwash me into thinking that me, my friends and family were all better off dead. Their are in agreeance with fascists (neo-nazis) on the lynching or murding of disabled chidlren and their arguments in defence of killing the disabled are virtually identical to those held by fascists both in the past and present (they are also identical to the view held be the eugenics movement before Hitler came around). They also in November 1984 at the San Francisco State Univerty dressed up in Nazi regalia complete with Nazi swastika armbands. Their peerless leader Jim Robertson also at one point went into a German restaurant and asked for a "steak a la Auschwitz". He also, addressed German comrades with: "Hi ya comrades, Heil Hitler". Basically I was completely disoriented due to the nightmarish abuse I experienced at the hands of the ICL. The allegations holocaust denier is NOT one to be taken lightly. I asked it in question form, not as a statement but it was still wrong.
Also, I had the view that white guys with shaved heads and guys who listen to punk music were all fasicst. This again was a view shared by people in the ICL. This played a big part in the ICL purging Uli Sandler from their party back in the 1980s. They smeared him as a "proto-fascist" and "nazi lover". I had at one time to my recollection implied that a white person with a shaved head who listend to punk music I spoke to was a fascist. Whether not this specific individual was a fascist I am not sure and he was certainly a shady character (this guy did agree with the ICL and the fascists on his view of killing disabled people). However this guy doesn't speak for white guys with shaved heads. I know a couple of white guys with shave heads (three that I can recall) who I know quite well and who I know are NOT fascist. One of them in fact has disabilities.
Another mistake I made is that all of my early emails were directed at specific members of the ICL as opposed to the ICL in general. I aimed my polemics to much at certain members and not enough at the group itself.
Comradely,
For Trotskyism,
Michael G.
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